Owning Your Part of the Problem

Bryant Golden Blog

I think one of the most difficult things for any human being is admitting when they are wrong. Have you ever been in a conversation arguing your point only to realize half-way through you are wrong? Then you continue to argue your point anyway? Maybe that’s just me because I hate admitting when I’m wrong or make a mistake.

The problem is that when you don’t stop to own where you were wrong, you set yourself up to undermine your future. You cannot blame your way toward progress. Instead, blame sets you up to repeat certain failures and hide your issues. But eventually, it catches up with you.

Owning your part of the problem results in clarity for your future. When you own where you’ve messed up, in many cases, your level of anger and discontentment goes down. It’s what leads to humility and when you have humility it’s easier to function in relationship with other people. It’s easier to function in relationship with yourself. The illusion of our moral superiority is torn away when we stop hiding behind stories that aren’t even true about a situation. The hard part is, it is just easier to blame and point fingers.

Solomon penned some incredible advice in the Old Testament scripture. Most of which he didn’t follow but he was on point when he wrote that “above all else, guard you heart, for it is the wellspring of life” – Proverbs 4:23. All your life flows from your heart. Your heart is that inner place where your emotions, will, feelings, and identity collide. Out of that place you live life, make decisions, and function in relationship. When you play the blame game it impacts that inner part of your life and emanates into everything else in your life.

So, the application is easy to understand but difficult to do: Own your part. Own your part in that relationship where you want to blame it all on them, the mistake that you won’t acknowledge, or the decision that you’ve shrugged off. Nobody else may know the truth but you do. I get how hard it is because when you own your part of anything you lose a little bit of your leverage. It’s easier to just say it was all their fault. To be fair, maybe a lot of it was their fault but you still must own your part.

When you do, you experience freedom whether they respond the right way to your or not. You may also find that you make traction in relationships that were stuck, simply because your humility closed the gap between you. It’s always hard, always embarrassing, but always worth it.

As difficult and humbling as it is, own your part. Your future depends on it.