Have you ever given someone the silent treatment only to discover they never knew you weren’t talking to them? Shunning someone rarely has the desired effect you are looking for. In fact, the person who suffers the most is you.

Peace is in your control. When you shun someone you are attempting to punish them by removing your presence from their lives. But what really happens is that you are the one who loses out. God has called you to love the person you are shunning. Instead, you are creating a rift in the relationship.

Start talking

If someone has hurt you, stop putting the reigns of your peace and happiness into their hands. You are responsible for your own peace. You can have peace when you, not them, have done everything you can do toward reconciliation.

Jesus was clear that when you are angry you have to deal with it. In both Matthew 5 and 18, he told us to go to the person and have a conversation with them. You don’t get to dismiss people.

Ask yourself who is suffering because you aren’t speaking? Stop hiding behind justifications that you want the best for them or you want them to reach their full potential. Pulling out of their life is not a biblical way to handle conflict. Admit that this is really about you, your hurt, and your unwillingness to address the problem.

You are running from conflict.

Give it to God

Give the situation over to God. Take the hurt to God in prayer. Leave room for God to deal with the injury and ask for his strength to forgive. People aren’t dismissable. The one you are in disagreement with or who has hurt you, you have been called to love.

You don’t have to forget about the hurt but you can not hold it over their head. If you have been hurt by someone you must seek out your own freedom and peace regardless of whether or not that person offers you an apology. That strength is only found in Christ. Give the situation over to him and ask that he move your heart towards reconciliation.   

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