Every marriage has highs and lows. In February of 2018 eharmony reported that 64% of Americans were happy in their relationships. I’m not advocating rushing off to eharmony if you are part of the 26% who are not happy. But, there is hope.
Five tips for a happy marriage
- Take care of yourself. This means to holistically care for your physical, spiritual and mental needs. Take inventory of how empty your cup is. Remember to shower, eat healthy, and exercise. Marriages struggle when one or both are stinky, hangry, or sleep-deprived. If you find yourself being short with others take a mental note of what your needs might be.
- Let go of perfect. At one time or another we all had a dream of what a perfect marriage would look like. The reality is that you are not perfect, so perfection is impossible. Neither you or your spouse can live up to unrealistic expectations. Instead, be kind to yourself and to your life partner.
- Every day, share at least one thing you appreciate about your spouse. It could be something they did or a quality they possess. What we focus on is what we begin to see. When we focus on the negative, we see more negative. When we focus on the good, we begin to see more of the good. Tell your spouse it’s always nice to hear appreciation.
- Remove the “d-word” from your vocabulary. Never threaten divorce and don’t throw the word around like a threat. Instead, create rules for disagreements and abide by them. If you struggle with anger, read this.
- Be vulnerable with one another. Intimacy requires work. Happiness is not a guarantee but is rather the payoff of the risky business of opening up to each other. There will be downs and lows, but to truly be happy in your marriage, you must be open and honest. For more on why, read Vulnerability: The Secret to Divorce-Proofing Your Relationship.
The happy marriage app
If you struggle with putting knowledge into action, there is an app available to help. The Love Nudge is like a fitness app for relationships that helps you put the concepts of The 5 Love Languages into action.
If you are wondering what it means to authentically follow Jesus, join us on Unfiltered Radio as we investigate who He claimed to be and how He taught us to interact with one another.